There is something wrong with my life...

Perhaps this is the only place i know where i can afford to write things or a place i can turn to when i need someone to listen... With the countdown timer on 5 Days left.... Today is the forth day of november. A levels are just 5 days away excluding today... Its been a long journey... Along the way... i felt many feelings... but never once did i expect to feel this many at any one point in time. As of now... i feel deceived, i feel disappointed, i feel hurt, i feel stressed, i feel as if nothing has been right... Jus about a week ago. The sun shined brightly in the sky and my life seemed well.... All was jus a dream i guess.... Why do i have to go through such things? has anyone ever tried studying for close to 18 hours a day and sleeping 6 hours a day. spending that 18 hours in a place called your second home... i go there not to study but to give guidance... I am kinda pissed doing so. Not that i do not enjoy doing so.. But its draining... Why drain me of my energy... Why do i have to be tormented in this way... Is there another way out... Spending 5 days a week like this... You hardly have any support from anyone. Everyone is busy with their own lives their own things, you find it hard to tell family members since its been long since you communicated... You find your best frenz hard to talk to as they no longer speak in a similar language as you... You are just alone.. All by yourself.... Walking the path alone towards your dreams... What are your dreams?? Do you want to do very very well? Aim for high goals and ambitions? Is it too high for you to reach already. Why don't you give up...Looking at others... They seem fine with everything while i am far from my goal... Should i forgo this goal in mind? are there alternatives? Looking at things differently, is stressed something you put upon yourself? and only by you onto yourself? Why does others around not feel stressed? Why do i have to face with this kind of stuff... and its always when things start improving for the better and you thought that one aspect of life is almost settled... You see that part crumble and fall... And you are back to square one... With nothing to begin with and nothing to lose... You mind wanders at this point... with nothing to lose... You tend to bang hard on almost anything coming your way... And you do without thinking... You act on impulse... I am about to do so but fight on stronlgly for one cause.. and that's YOU. I really jus wish this will end soon... and we can go onto some happier times.... Why does it have to be this way?


WHY?!?!