Happy or Sad?

since the last time i blogged... many things happened... i have also changed quite abit. setbacks in life are things that you have to face. they will change you and you can't change them. how unfair. well... i really wonder if i should go on persuing... can you yourself give me the answer?? you noe who i am refering to. Apart from that. i decided to dedicate my next year to a year of studies. really have to let go a lot this time. wasn't really prepared but will miss the nice people i used to hang out with. next year i won't be so on with scouting le. First 6 mths in H3 and last 6 in As. i really have to work hard. i tot over this for some time... perhaps its better that i sacrifice and persue a different dream. the dream YOU have always been wanting but failed to achieve. I shall do it for YOU. sorry to my bros for leaving on this sunday for melbourne as a mark of my leave from scouts as well. following my J2 year will be 2 years of NS. dun worry... i will be back after NS should my Uni years not be so taxing. i jus wan to persue the wish of my granddad first. its a long story. been affected by stuff lately. can't seem to smile that much. wonder wad happened.... its like the jokes that i hear people say... people laugh.. but i jus force a smile off my face... on msn... with some people... i jus appear joyous so that things seem right. with some of you... i jus try to put things aside and not spoil the mood of the crowd... well... i really dunno wad has happened.... i really feel weird and affected... can the key to my solutions appear?? or will it even come to me in the first place?