CRAP! (Part 1)

haiz... well... finish school today jus to realise that i lost something. a something very precious to me. well. if its fated. i say i have to let go. well... this is life... when you have to jus let go... also... i finally had some talk with my mum. din really help much though... i feel like breaking down. questions that i ask myself, is it my study method that caused my pathetic grades? or was it the letting go of studies during the hols. well... i had to let go of studies during the hols. with my CCA and my relaxation time. if i really carried on in the hols. i may be mentally too stressed for now... jus what went rong? i really cannot find the answer... a psychologist cannot nvr treat himself. well... i began to wonder if my life was really meant to be into medical studies or even a degree? could i live past this 2 years and make it into a uni for medical course? or to a uni but for other course i have no interest in? or should i go into a diploma and come out to work? who has the answers? i am really lost. Having crapped my way out in school, and not putting in effort in sch... with friendship probs... and all that crap.... i should really jus cut myself out and submerge myself into some form of serious study. perhaps to end my additional family? cut off all my gans... i should go to an ordinary jc life where its sch sch and sch only. so wad if life is short... perhaps in my this life i was pre-destined to die of over-study... well.. so be it... since life is fixed from the start of it. at birth.. my path was made... perhaps... at this point in time as i type... it was already planned 16 years ago when i entered the world... i was made to take a step and path planned by the above... so be it... if i have to take the challenge i take it on with full force. if i have to end my life miserably... so be it... i cannot take it anymore... things have never been the same since that day.. things screw up... problems come up... life start to suck... people start becoming irritating and fucking arrogant. my friends i turn to(WX/D) are losing the enthusiasm in studies. people whom i once trust now i lose trust in. with the constant lack of sleep and all.. things jus won't go right. have i been sacrificing too much for others? my sleep time sacrificed when i talk on the phone?

CRAP! (Part 2)

wad are my priorities? why should i be so bothered about my certain people? (HY) if u really understand do sth bout it... have i been to bothered bout others that i left myself out? i try to fulfil everyone's wishes. Granddad wishes a grandson with a degree... here i am suffering for it. Dad wants a successful son in doctor field... here i am trying to produce it. Mum throws full trust in her elder son to be a degree holder, here i am struggling at it. Rain wans people to cabal with him, i spend time on it. Teachers expecting hw to be done. i rush them through. MW wans me back at CCA to improve the unit and troop... i promise and do my best. Shawn expecting more input from the ventures with his crude words, i try to comply and make thigns work out. If they wan all these so badly, can they at least look at how many other things people want? at least understand how much i am going through... all they say is... its only tough for this 2 years... ok.. so its tough... wan see its tough till i drop dead one day? attend my funeral ok? pay me a last visit. WTF. teaching my fellow schoolmates and classmates is something i enjoy doing. it helps me... i learn from them as well... these are the people whom have really contributed largely to me even though they have wishes from me.i enjoy helping them as i benefit largely from them and seem to enjoy the time spent with them. thanks alot to the following people: (in no order of merit)
- Eileen
- Chesed
- Grace
- Cynthia
- Chermaine
- Wei Xiang
- Daryl
- Danica
- Cleo
- Brenda
Thanks guys for helping me...

Also, people whom have always been there for me and bring joy into my life:
- Wei Xiang
- Daryl
- Eileen
- Yen Teng
- Jia Qi
- Danica
- Elaine
- Ibrahim
- Valerie
- Clifford
- Hui Yee
- Joanne
- Ling Yee
- Limei
- Joey
- Cindy
- Most importantly Jolin
Thanks for being of great help to me....

Bio paper

Well... maybe today wasn't a really good day. the day started out real bad when i receive a call from someone... and tt got me very pissed... to the person who offended me.. well... jus think before u make any comments next time... i shall forgive you... den went for lessons... well.. got bio paper back.. a very great setback again.. i got a C... how sian... now was jus hoping my common day papers can help pull my grades.. den i realised... GP grades need to be good for me to pass... my both common test were rather bad.... haiz... den went to transcribe the interview.. had a lot of fun there... keep joking and laughing... trying to make out the words... lol... well... so far my papers are like:
Maths - A
Chemistry - B
Biology - C

how nice.... i wished i had really put in more effort...

Why doesn't anyone understand??

well... got back my papers today. for maths and chem.. well.. not very to wad i expected. the result were good. i noe. but no one unds how i feel. to me, one competes only with one self and not others. this goes to say... so wad if u are the first... you can't meet ur standards and defeat urself, u are useless... well... i would say... i am rather disappointed with myself... and some ppl jus dun get it and keep claiming that the result i obtained had no reasons to be sad at. Well, V,I... i dun wan to name the names... but erm.. jus be sensative to others feelings... ur words could be hurting at times... and... well... if an improvement of a mark is still an improvement... congratz to ppl whom have improved (D/WX). Keep up the good work... and for ppl in my class... its been clear that there are people whom i really cannot stand... well... WX asked me a qnestion in PE today.. and i find it true.. haiz... Like what i deduced. There are people who need attention and people who want attention. A need is something someone cannot make do without... a want is something luxury.. hopefully people change... kick off that want of urs... maybe people will start to accept you. when u notice people starts ignoring you or give you short answers. Think about it. what went rong... dun keep going on.. it makes ppl hate u even more... Well, anyway whats done is done and cannot be undone... (D/WX/I) shall work hard from where we left off and work for better grades and meet our expectations for promos...

Btw, my grades were:
Maths - A
Chemistry - B

LOL

You are almost like a life coach for your best friends.
You give them help when they need it... but you also know when to give them a push.

People tend to rely on you for moral support and advice.
You've probably always been mature for your age, so this is a role that's you're comfortable with.

A friend like you is one of the rarest kinds.
You are both a good mentor and companion.

Your friends need you most when: They are confused or worried

You really can't be friends with: Someone who only wants to complain

Your friendship quote: "The only way to have a friend is to be one."

Haha.. came across a test... i kinda agree partially with the results... but i dunno... is this true about me??? haha.. be glad if anyone could give me the answer... haha... btw... TEM... here's the post... haha... and well... mid year has jus passed.. a kinda weird feeling i have been having during the papers... i kinda doubt my ability... OMG.. i oso dunno sia... i find bio and chem manageable. den GP and MT die... my econs is ok and my maths i am a lil afraid.. well.. its over... there is nothing much i can do...


There is still something on my mind affecting me really. Only the person noes what is going on. I noe you are trying. but... its jus different... give me some time...

My Hols are here

haha... how great... my hols jus started... sianz... jus lost like a week and a half le... left with 2.5 weeks to enjoy... wait... nxt week cca... omg... only these last few days to play.. and i got a lot of things i wan to do... haha.. yay... 14-16 going overseas... haha... m'sia though.. haha... will blog bout tt if possible too.. haha... making this post specially for the someone... who complained i last posted 2 mths ago and tt she post everyday.. haha... updated for you le la... haha.. u noe who u are.. haha.... well well... tired tired tired... nvr have enuff sleep de...

Confusion

well... as i was doing my PI today... something came across my mind... haha... so here it goes...

With my grow circle of frenz... i find that i classify them into different categories... haha... a list i have made is below...

Family (they are those who are always beside u. they are those who are willing to listen to u shout and all but still forgive you. They understand ur problems) [members] my immediate and secondary family. my god siblings... thnx alot...

True brothers ( They are those who walk with you, see you fall and hold u up to prevent u from falling...)[members] my scout mates, fellow ventures of MKSG. thanks alot for holding me for the past few years. preventing me from falling. thanks brothers.

Brothers (They walk with you, watch you fall, hold you up after the fall and ask about you. The are always willing to assist you and help you.) [members]my C56 and HKP... lol.. thnks brothers... hope to do well with you all...

Great friends (ppl whom you can hang out with and fulfil certain things... usually with a purpose in mind and a common goal. [members] certain classmates, clifford, kim, chermaine, arthur. thanks alot for sharing a same goal as me.

Friends (ppl who i hang out with and have no purpose... we jus hang out once in a while. have fun.... ) these are people of montfort i know.. ... and my remaining S01 pals... see you all around ba...

well... the list runs up to here... anything lower is not very nice to say.... well.. should you want to noe... the above list is in order from the top to bottom is the best to good. haha.. and if u wan noe which category u belong... can ask me.. haha...

well... i think post enough le.. haha.. its time to do PI again.. haha.. lets go on.. haha... back to my fav slogan...

ABCDEFG
A Boy Can Do Everything For Girls
GFEDCBA
Girls Forget Everything Done, Changes Boy Again

How true... btw... lizard... get well soon.. haha...