It never stops!!!

Haiz... why must it be me? i ask myself? jus 6 months ago on 8 January 2008, the doctor told me my condition was stable... everything is under control and that jus under constant medication i would be fine! i followed the instructions and all... everything was jus working out fine till yesterday... i realised it has not left me... i was always with me... being inside me... why can't i get it out.. it always returns.. no matter wad i try!!! i really feel like giving up... the feeling sucks when you have it with you... Its difficult to manage it... you have to note very troublesome matters to ensure it is under control and all that crap... why can't it jus leave me alone... let me have peace? will you? jus let me go... How i wished my life wasn't like this! why must i be the one?!